Today.....

Today I found out how serious my wound is
Today I went to the orthopaedic
and he told me how serious it was
Serious to the fact that I need to lie down the whole time
in order not to aggravate it
If not I will need to go for a major surgery soo and soooo
All I can remember now is that he told me something that was scary
Something scary like being hospitalised
but I couldnt remember what it was
I remember I cried in the dressing room when I told how scary the situation is to my mom
I cried in front of the nurses who thought that I was crying because of the pain
I felt really alone
when I waited for my turn to see the scary doctor again
when I waited for my turn to take my medicine among many many patients crowding the pharmacy
when I made the decision
decisions that I felt reluctant to

However when I saw only a dark end at my journey
You gave me light
You gave me a torch that dims lightly and faintly but I still can see the exit at the end of this dark tunnel
I asked why you didnt give me a torchlight or just brighten up the whole tunnel
No you said
You said I need to light up the tunnel by myself and You will only help
I told You I wanted independent and I have it
You gave me this "bump" in my life to tell me how is it like to be independent
There is so much more to be independent
and this is one of it
You is my God who says "I wont give you challenges that you cannot handle"
which means that I can do it and I will face it
because I have You to help me light up the whole dark tunnel!!!